From Worst To Best!

From Worst To Best!
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    2018, man!
    What a year!
    What a crazy year!
    Such a roller coaster of things happened to me this year.
    If you, If- a lot of you remember,
    Um, I uploaded a video at the end of last year,
    at the end of 2017,
    Yeah, my timelines are all messed up...
    At the end of 2017 I uploaded a video talking about my- my toughest year on YouTube,
    And, I'll try and steer away from like, hyperbole and click-bait and all that kinda stuff when it comes to these types of videos
    when I'm actually talking about real shit.
    Um.. because I wanna- I wanted to convey things accurately
    And that.. that- that was not hyperbole. That was not an exaggeration
    2017 was definitely one of my harder years, if not *the* hardest year that I've had that I've had on YouTube
    because so many things were swimming around in my head
    so many things were going on, so many uncertainties, so many self-doubts
    *All* these different things were happening that I didn't know how to deal with
    I didn't know what I was going to do and...
    I was so sick of feeling that way; it was making me so miserable
    that I said that I was going to make 2018 the best year that I've had on YouTube since,
    And I think that I've absolutely accomplished that
    Sometimes, I forget all of the things that have been happening
    Sometimes I forget all the things that have gone on in this year
    because it's- it's been *one long* ass year
    I mean there's certain things that happened and people are like
    "Hey. Do you remember Black Panther happened this year" and everyone's like
    So I said to myself at the end of last year, start of this year
    that I- like I said that I wanted to make it the best year that I've had on YouTube
    or at least try. If I had that goal in my mind, at least I'd be trying to do cool things
    and I've done a lot of really cool things this year
    And I said I was gonna make this year the year of P.M.A.
    And I was gonna kick 2018's ass
    And I can gladly and honestly say that I have done that
    There was some bumps here and there, and some things happened and it slowed me down
    And I didn't think that it was gonna work out towards the end of the year
    but things.. things went really really well
    because there's a lot of stuff I did this year
    A lot of it wasn't even planned. A lot of it kinda just fell into my lap at the time
    and I'm, extremely grateful for it because... let- let's just go down through a list of the things that have gone on this year
    coz I made a list for myself
    I actually wrote things down
    because... so often it's easy to forget all the cool things that I was doing
    It was easy to get lost in the moment and just focus on what was happening right now
    and not remember any all of the cool things that I had done this year because the year was so long
    It was easy to- to break it up and forget that any of this stuff even happened
    So I wrote it down for myself just as some sort of like positive affirmation
    that yeah! I am doing cool things, and I am trying my best.
    We're doing cool stuff all together
    Um... And as I mentioned- I mentioned Black Panther as well because
    that was- that was the first cool thing that I got to do this year
    uh... when I got to go and... I got to go to the premiere of that in London
    which is already a really really cool thing to be able to do
    But I got to meet the stuntmen from that- from that movie
    If you remember I did a video with them where I- I learned some moves
    and they- they ran me through like one of the little scenes from the movie
    if the- the movie's out now so you know that it's the scene from the casino
    and that they showed me some moves from that where I beat up one of the stunt guys
    "Beat up" in heavy quotations
    uh... But it was really cool. It was my first like venture into doing anything
    with people from movies or anything like that
    It was the first cool thing that I got to do this year.
    um.. And it kinda opened up the door for a lot more of the stuff that ended up coming along
    Right after that I got to do one of the coolest things that I've ever done on YouTube
    because it was such a big deal to me personally and to my family and to everyone in Ireland
    which was the Late Late Show. That's like the golden standard for like saying that "You've made It" in Ireland
    If you're on that, then you must be doing something right like the whole nation watches that um... talk show
    So to be on that, to even be invited to be on that, to even know that some of the people in the country knew who I was
    in that regard was already really cool. But to be actually on that show. To be on that and to be interviewed on there
    was a really big deal for me, because I've been doing this a long time and
    to get that sort of validation and that affirmation that what you're doing is good
    and that people are taking notice of it. But to have the people of your own home country
    to appreciate what you're doing like that. And to see them take on like, the digital age
    and talk about it, a YouTuber, on this uh talk show, is really cool.
    And it went really well. I had never done a talk show interview before
    I had never been on something that *big*, with that many, well I mean...
    a lot of eyeballs are on me on YouTube but this is kind of my play area
    But to be on a talk show like that with such a pedigree to it, and to have them interview me
    I-I had never done anything like that before. Thankfully, it went really well
    And a lot of good feedback came out of that and it really boosted me
    and pushed me on further into the next parts of- of that year
    because that was when stuff started to really kick off
    the PMA was kicking in.
    And I was trying to be like ok... we can actually do some cool stuff this year and it was really starting to boost me
    Then! The biggest thing of the year happened for me
    and the biggest thing, my highest accomplishment that I feel like I have
    like... since I've started doing YouTube, was the Ryan Reynolds interview
    if any of you have watched the channel for any length of time you know how much I've mentioned him
    You know how much I love him as an actor and as a person. And I really look up to him.
    I think that he's really cool.
    I think he's just a really charming guy.
    Who's funny. And a lot of people like him
    He's just this charisma about him. And I've always just kinda looked up to him in general anyway
    And to see that this thing actually happened...
    because it came into my lap. This is one of the things that just happened, randomly
    It wasn't something that I started off the year and was like.. 'okay
    I'm going to interview Ryan Reynolds this year". It was never a thing
    cuz I had never thought that it would even be a thing
    that I would even be *able* to do, even if I had it in my mind to want to go do it
    So... I- I was just sitting down one time
    and my manager, Nicole, came to me and was like...
    "Uh, 20th Century Fox kinda wanna throw this thing towards you. I wanna know if you wanna interview Ryan Reynolds"
    And I was like... Are you fucking kidding me?
    He followed me on Twitter this year, and that was the thing that actually clinched the deal
    because he was doing the press junket anyway
    but he had followed me previously earlier on in the year
    after a tweet I made about the movie 'Coco'
    I said that watching Coco on an airplane is an exercise in letting strangers watch you ugly cry
    or something like that. I can't remember how I worded it
    And then he liked that tweet and followed me immediately after it
    as I was recording a video.
    and I- I lost my shit. I lost my mind.
    It was so cool. I was so excited.
    And then because of that, that was apparently the- the...
    the thing that pulled the trigger for them to be like,
    "Okay, Ryan knows who this guy is,
    he's played Deadpool on his channel before for... a video game,
    so why not put Ryan and him together, he's talked about Ryan
    in like... high regard before and he has YouTube and we don't normally do YouTube stuff..."
    So all these things kinda coalesced perfectly
    to make this thing happen. And it was
    the most proud I've been
    doing a thing on YouTube. It was right after that that my second proudest accomplishment
    for doing YouTube ever came, which was doing my tour.
    The tour was like a year-long thing, so
    I think in totality we did about 50 shows- 40 to 50 shows, anyway
    um, which sometimes doesn't sound like a lot but when you're out on the road it feels like a lot because
    I- I've been gone for like a full...
    3 months total out of the year?
    Just for tour alone, like, travelling.
    From like start to finish it's been about 3 months total,
    which is a lot of time to take away from the channel. And that was
    that was one of the downsides of doing so many tours was because
    I felt bad taking so much time away from my channel, and that's one of the things i'll get to at the end for one of my resolutions for next year
    but the tour was - if the Ryan Reynolds thing didn't happen
    the tour would be by far the... proudest accomplishment that I've done on YouTube
    The Ryan Reynolds thing is just so ludicrous that it has to be at the top
    But the tour was something so spectacular, because
    it was this thing that I had wanted to do, I knew I wanted to do live shows, I knew I was fascinated by them
    the live... atmosphere had always been really cool to me, from watching people do it
    from watching stand-up shows, from being at PAX and doing panels and stuff there
    I knew I wanted to progress that further
    and do more stuff on a stage in front of a crowd, and- I just had no idea what it was going to be
    and trying to translate what I do here
    onto a stage is very hard to do,
    without just sitting up there and doing like a live Let's Play
    which, to me, wasn't that fun, wasn't that exciting, wasn't that enticing.
    I wanted to do something *different* and it wasn't until I watched Bo Burnham's "Make Happy" special
    that I was like "That. That's what I want to do." Not- not exactly that, but that type of thing
    because that- that hit me much harder than it probably hit a lot of people, because at the time...
    Like, his final monologue at the end where he's singing and he's doing the Kanye rant, kinda thing,
    that made me legitimately cry and tear up
    the first time I watched it, because
    it hit very much at home with a lot of stuff I was feeling in 2017
    and I thought "If I'm gonna do anything, I want it to be something that feels like me, but something that's completely outside my comfort zone."
    Something that I haven't done before, something that I didn't know I could do, something that was gonna be challenging and
    required craft and work and skill to actually put together,
    but also felt very genuine and felt very much like- when you're watching this it still feels like me- still feels like Jacksepticeye.
    A lot of stuff just started to really fall into place and the show that we crafted together
    ended up being really, really good and something I didn't know I could do, it was something
    I had no idea what it was going to be at the start, but then at the end it really came together, and...
    I'm proud to say that it's a really good stand-up set.
    Um... and I'm very proud of it. I'm usually reluctant to like...
    talk about things that I've done...
    in that sort of regard and praise them because it comes off as bragging or showing off- but I'm legitimately proud of the show
    and I think it's something not many YouTubers have done or can do, so I'm
    I'm happy that I was able to do it. I'm happy that I challenged myself enough
    to *want* to do it and then fulfill it and see it out to the end
    and that's why...
    I'm glad I took the time away from the channel, because I needed to reconfigure my brain
    Um... and staying on schedule is not something that I'll remember forever but doing a tour is.
    Like if I skip 2 weeks of videos sometimes, that's like- okay, it's cool to keep on schedule,
    but if I get to do a tour instead that's something that's going to stay with me forever.
    Keeping on schedule is not going to be something that stays with me forever.
    A bunch of stuff started to happen towards the middle of the year, because I started to- I started to...
    ...Regress back into old patterns and old habits and old mentalities. I had started off the year with PMA,
    Positive Mental Attitude, and I had started saying it to myself, selfishly
    to just sort of like give me something to latch onto, give me some sort of positive mantra
    to stay going with, to keep saying to myself each day to try and get to a positive mental attitude.
    "PMA" is not something that you just say to yourself and you suddenly become happy,
    slap a smile on your face and go about your day
    and just go around and be like, "Just choose happiness! Just be happy and everything's fine!"
    That's not realistic. That's not how humans work. And that's not something that I've ever promoted with PMA.
    To me, PMA was always about trying your best.
    Like waking up in the day, if you thought to yourself, like, "I *want* to try and be positive today."
    Because it's easy to let something get you down- you start off the day, something you read online as we often do
    just kinda triggers you or fucks you up
    and then you're kind of in a bad mood all day - so PMA was for me to try and get me out of that
    to be like, "Okay, you know what, you've had the bad moment, just come out of it, try to get back to a positive mindset.
    Focus on productivity, creativity, and do some cool stuff."
    So, towards the middle of the year stuff had started to get me down again. I was feeling very sad, very miserable
    and I was worried that I was starting to go back to 2017 habits. So,
    I decided I need a change, I went to L.A, I took
    an *actual* week off from YouTube- I had taken some time off before from making videos
    but it was kinda just for tour so I was still going, I was still mentally working and grinding through stuff
    Thank you guys So Much For Watching This Video If you Liked it, PUNCH THAT LIKE Button, IN THE FACE!!!!
    LIKE A BOSS!!!
    And High Five all-round!!!
    But, Thank you Guys! And I will See you Dudes , IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!
    (Outros)- I'm Everywhere By Teknoaxe ( Thanks For Watching! - Happy New Year To All Everyone!!! From Sam (:)
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