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The Fermi Paradox Explained With Fruit

The Fermi Paradox Explained With Fruit
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    The Fermi paradox,
    aka our best guesses as
    to where the heck all the aliens
    Theory number one: home alone.
    Let's say this apple represents
    all intelligent life,
    and the table is the universe.
    one is that, we human beings on planet Earth are the apple. We are
    the only intelligent ones out there.
    We are actually alone in the universe.
    This theory might be wrong,
    but it's a possibility nonetheless.
    Theory number two: fashionably late.
    A more likely theory is that we're not alone
    in the universe,
    but we're just late to the party.
    So some aliens,
    in this case these bananas,
    came to our home planet before humans existed,
    but we weren't here to greet them.
    They left, and are out there living their delicious
    lives, and we're unaware of them.
    That would be really sad.
    Theory number three.
    The cool kids table.
    Another popular theory is that the aliens
    aren't just bananas.
    Instead, they're everything in this fruit basket,
    and they're all clustered at this end of the table
    having a fun fruit basket party
    with all the other delicious fruits in their vicinity.
    They're just so far away from where we're positioned
    in the universe that,
    from where we're sitting,
    we just think we're alone.
    In other words,
    aliens are out there.
    We just can't interact
    with them, or tell they're out there because they're so
    far away.
    Theory number four: the school bully.
    My favorite of theories is that there's an intergalactic
    fruit war going on,
    and that takes the whole fruit basket exercise
    to a whole new level.
    This watermelon is the biggest baddest
    alien race out there.
    Here is earth, the apple,
    and everyone else is represented by grapes.
    The biggest baddest alien race is
    really really hungry,
    and they're going to start coming for everybody
    else in the universe.
    So none of the other aliens
    want to make a single sound
    for fear of being attacked,
    and strategically that makes sense.
    Don't let the enemy know where you are,
    and you'll survive for many many more years.
    But because of that,
    the little apple that is Earth is also completely
    unaware of alien life,
    and therefore blissfully unaware
    of the Galactic War of the fruit.
    We may not ever get attacked,
    but we might not ever know if there are other beings
    out there in the universe.
    Theory number five: The Human Zoo.
    Can you just imagine if
    aliens brought their little alien babies
    to watch us like monkeys in a zoo.
    So here is Apple earth,
    and here all the other alien,
    bringing their little babies to watch us,
    and study us,
    and generally be entertained by our existence.
    Everything we do is on display
    and we just don't realize it.
    It'd be super creepy
    but it's totally a possibility.
    Theory number 6: Tinfoil hat.
    On the other hand,
    maybe there are aliens
    and they know we're here
    and we know they're there.
    Contact has already been made,
    and E.T. has already phone home.
    The thing is, according to the fermi paradox -
    not to sound all conspiracy theory -
    but maybe the government knows all
    about aliens
    and they're just not telling us,
    man. Theory number 7: Everything
    you know is a lie.
    And just one more
    of the many other options of alien life
    and contact,
    Maybe we are the apple,
    but instead of being delicious
    and organic it's digital
    and tasteless.
    Maybe everything we think we know about reality
    is wrong.
    Maybe we're all living in a simulation
    that's being run by future human beings
    or highly advanced aliens,
    and in this scenario
    we're the only lifeforms being tested.
    Whatever theories you subscribe to,
    it's worth noting that NASA's
    finding new planets every day, so our potentially delicious
    banana shaped aliens might be discovered
    soon. But until then
    we'll just have to theorize.
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